Here I am. I just sat here for a good minute staring at the screen. You'd think I'd have more to say than that. But I don't. So many thoughts. So much swimming, roiling around in my mind and no way to verbalize in a way that won't make me seem like a total wing-nut. Bummer. So I'll tell you about my mouse battle.
There is a mouse in my house. This is a noisy and particularly smart or possibly, stupidly brave mouse-kin. I don't really want to commit mousey murder so, upon discovery of his, err, moving in and, even though I knew it was a failing prospect, I attempted to scare the mouse away with loud noises and much stomping.
This did not work. Mousey-kins retaliated by waking me up multiple times a night for the next two nights. I blamed the dogs.
After 2 virtually sleepless nights in a row, I decided to buy traps. Sorry mouse. I have bills to pay and deadlines to meet.
I set one trap on the mouse's preferred countertop. Don't EVEN get me started; having to completely sanitize my kitchen every time I want to pull a plate out or cut a grape in half is annoying at best (because, who doesn't cut their grapes in half?)... but I digress. I laid a trap out on "the" countertop and after some experimenting and futzing around, baited the trap with a tasty bit of carrot. Went outside to smoke (Bad habit. I know. Shaddup about it. I'm not smoking near YOU). Came back in and there sat the trap: pristine, un-sprung... tasty carrot bit GONE.
Well, that sucks, I thought. Then again, I was almost glad because murdering mice is not REALLY what I wanted to be doing. The horses were pissed this guy'd been getting their treats though. "This cannot continue," I said to me.
So I fiddled with the trap, scared the bejeezus out of myself a few times, proved to myself it should work, reset it, managed to escape trapping my own index finger a couple of times, got it reset, snapped it closed (missed my finger! HAH!) when I tried to bait it... and repeated that sequence a couple of times amidst much cursing. Finally got the thing set, re-baited (more carrot) and went to bed.
I'm now convinced the mouse thinks I'm just nice and feeding him like I do the dogs. The up-side is that when he's eating the bait, he's quiet and doesn't wake me up. The down side is that he still poops on the counter.
Ew.
Need I recount that I woke up to an empty, un-sprung trap, missing bait and a "thank you" turd from Mickey's li'l bud? I totally did.
*sigh*
This afternoon, I declared war (quietly) and decided that 1st trap must be faulty. I decided I should try TWO traps on "THE" counter. I mean, the package came with FOUR traps. I can escalate...
I set the traps, baited with carrot and waited.
Yep. You guessed it. Mousey-kins had a tasty dinner, the horses are giving me the stink-eye and the dogs think I'm going to yell at them for sleeping quietly in their beds.
This is NOT going well. Even my animal fam is pissed at me.
Before I started writing this (because what else would I spend NYE doing?) I'd set the two traps, left to go buy something tasty to drink (because NYE and I'm a lightweight so it's really cheap to get a buzz... like, 1 beer cheap. Sadly this has not helped me with dating) and come home to one trap denuded of its tasty mouse snack (of COURSE it was un-sprung. Geez.) and the second trap, also un-sprung, with tasty mouse snack still there but with edges delicately nibbled.
I sighed, opened a bottle of tasty beverage and walked into my office. That was about 20 minutes ago.
I just walked to the kitchen for tasty beverage #2 and the second trap's mouse treat is now gone.
Maybe he's learning. There's no poop on the counter.
I'm tempted to attempt to negotiate a deal but I know mice. Next thing you know, country mouse-kins is gonna invite his city mouse buddy over, and then some chick-mice and all heck is going to break loose in my kitchen at 2 a.m.
Tomorrow: peanut butter.
Oh, you be quiet. It could work!
